elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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