My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
