I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
