Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
