I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will be naked everywhere
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
