I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
