i permit you to call me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sorry my hands just texted you
We don't watch enough power rangers
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
