Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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