I just made out with a guy for $7.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
