jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He? As in you personified your dick?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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