Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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