I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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