it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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