i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
