Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
