OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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