So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
