I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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