apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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