somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
