Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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