Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we should paint friendship bongs
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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