I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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