apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize