Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize