This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
