i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
