It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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