Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS