I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"