Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Blood and glitter go together right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts