You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.