I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!