Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
