i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star