So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
