omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
