your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
