Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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