the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
