so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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