Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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