ugly people sure do ruin things
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
