I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
