Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
