hell yes lets make some ravioli
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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