I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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