Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
