i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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