I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
