I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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