I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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