I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
