You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
false alarm, still single
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
