tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
