in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
