i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Two words: blizzard sex
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
