so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
