I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
