don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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