Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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