Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
