well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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