This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
