Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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