god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
