Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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