need another drink. this is the easiest way
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
